In the last year I’ve found myself clicking on the call “Mom” button on my iPhone almost every day. I would try to reach her in the morning sometime between 8am and 9am. Every time I called she would say, “Let me call you back, I’m on the phone with your sister.” Call it sibling rivalry but I wondered if there would ever be a day when she would say, “Hi! Hold on, let me tell your sister that I’ll call her back.” It never happened. I figured it was because my sister had been calling her every morning for that past five years at that same time and that my mom was always so excited to hear about the latest and greatest with her grandchildren.

It was only a matter of time before I realized that maybe I should call her at a different time. First of all, I would spare myself from hearing the “Let me call you back.” line and secondly I could potentially start my own scheduled daily call with Mom.

For the past year I have had my 10am with Mom. Around the ten o’clock hour every morning I have been able to call and hear her say, “Hello, how are you? Let’s talk.” To this day it is music to my ears. I’m not exactly sure why I was so intent on setting up a daily call with her. Maybe I’m just at a point in my life where her motherly advice is needed on a day to day basis. Over the next few posts I will share some of the infinite wisdom that she and all moms maintain. Sometimes it’s not about what they have to tell you. Sometimes it’s about them listening and lending you their ear. Mom, this is for you. Thank you for being such a positive radiance in my life.

- M

10am With Mom 09.21.09
“Hold the mayo… please.”

Mom mentioned that she was going to make herself a sandwich for lunch and that’s when I asked her the same question I always ask her, “Are you going to put mayo on that sandwich?” Mom hates it when I ask her that question. For some reason my conversation with Mom today was about the school lunches that she used to make for me when I was in grade school.

I was one of those kids that brought my lunch to school almost every day. I guess that is why to this day I’m so infatuated with cafeteria food – hospitals, schools you name it. I never had a chance to get sick of it I guess. So when I ask Mom about whether or not she is going to put mayo on her sandwich I can see her rolling her eyes and firing back at me, “Why? What do you care?” Sounds kind of brutal doesn’t it? In actuality Mom knows she’s the reason why I can’t stand mayo. She used to cake it all over my bologna sandwiches. 10 parts mayo, 1 part bologna. Mom’s reasoning for it all is that she was trying to “fatten” me up. Plus, times were tough growing up and bringing lunch to school was more economical. Some say that you won’t know if you like the taste of something unless you try it. I tried mayo… I tried too much of it I guess.

Looking back on it all I think I know why I always ask Mom if she is going to put mayo on her sandwich. It’s not because I want to constantly remind her of how she was the cause of something that I can’t stand the sight or smell of. It’s because thinking of the days when I had to bring lunch to school (as I admired the warmth of cafeteria food and the beauty and wonder of my rich friends’  “Scooby Doo” style sandwiches) really reminds me of my childhood and where I came from. While I may not have one jar or packet of mayonnaise anywhere near me or my fridge these days – it is a huge reminder of the humble path I traveled growing up. Mom and Dad worked hard to put food on our table. We didn’t always get what we wanted but we always had each other. We always had our family. Thank you Mom for making me not like mayonnaise so much. THANK YOU.

10am With Mom sometime ago.
“Listen with your heart and soul… not your mouth, not even your ears.”

When Mom first said this to me I had to take a step back to process it mentally. We were arguing at the time. Arguments are few and far between with us. But on this day neither of us were willing to give in. Without going into detail and now looking back on the situation I believe she had a great point to make. In the heat of an argument, each person is so set on their own beliefs and opinions that they aren’t really listening to the other side of things.

When Mom said, “Listen with your heart and soul… not your mouth, not even your ears.” I believe she wanted me to hear her side of things by opening my heart and soul to hers. Sometimes our words do not give our feelings justice, sometimes they are an injustice to what we really mean. Our ears can hear words but it is our heart and soul that processes them. When our thoughts are driven by our mouths without being filtered by our heart and soul, our most honest intentions are lost in translation.

I hear you now Mom.

10am With Mom 01.18.11
“We’re retired now. I can finally sleep in.”

I know. I know. There is about a 16 month gap in between my last 10am With Mom post and this one. To be quite honest, so many things have happened that I could probably create 10am With Mom spinoffs. I never meant to stop writing. I guess I wasn’t sure what direction this blog segment was taking, considering all the craziness happening in our lives. Now I know I should of never stopped considering the brightest light shining over the past year. Mom and Dad are now retired (break out the party horns and noisemakers)! I wanted to breathe life back into 10am With Mom, especially after this morning’s conversation with Mom… and now Dad.

This morning Mom mentioned something that kind of resonated with me. She said, “We’re retired. I can finally sleep in.” And as I look a couple of layers deep into that statement, it made me think to myself, Mom is darn right she can sleep in. I must say that far too often we don’t give our parents the credit they deserve for ALL the hours they put in working 9-5′s. Even I’m a bit guilty of it. Maybe it’s because they make it so seamless – you know, they go to work, pay bills, and try to give us the things we want and they never let us see them sweat. Parents being parents. Most of my own friends are now parents, working 9-5′s, and blazing trails for their own families. Growing up I always thought “retirement” was when someone stopped working because they reached a certain age or worked a certain amount years. I’ve learned “retirement” is bigger than that. It is a celebration. It is an honor. It is an accomplishment. A very big one.

That being said, sleep in Mom. Sleep all you want. You deserve every ounce of it. I know you’re just making up for all the lost sleep from taking care of your family. We can talk tomorrow at 11AM if you want or you can just call me whenever you wake up.

10am With Mom 07.01.11
“That UNCONDITIONAL Unconditional Love.”

I’m 34 years old. I know I’ve got a long way to go (hopefully) but yet I’m old enough to have seen and experience some really rough patches throughout my life. Spoke to Mom the other day. This time Dad was also listening over speaker phone. We got to talking about “forgiveness.” I asked them, “Now that your children have grown up, how do you feel and deal with our misgivings…our mistakes?” Mom said, “We pray.” At first I was going to laugh because I thought she was trying to be funny. Not even a smile was formed because I realized at that moment that she was serious. Drop dead serious.

You see, Mom and Dad are both retired now and their faith has become a big part of their daily lives. My parents have always been committed to their faith, it’s just now they have more time to dedicate to it. Our conversation about forgiveness made me think about a lot of things. I drifted off and started asking myself questions like, “How do parents see past the mistakes their children make against them? How can they forgive after words were used that can never be taken back? ” I know a parent’s love for their children is unconditional. But how conditional is unconditional? Aren’t there lines that can be crossed? All of a sudden my mind started to re-enter the present moment, Mom’s voice was coming back online as she was explaining her take on forgiveness. I could see my Dad shaking his head in agreement even though we were on the phone. Then I heard Mom say, “My blood runs through your body. My blood runs through your sister’s body. If I couldn’t forgive my children I would never forgive myself.”

Then Dad chimed in, “It’s that UNCONDITIONAL unconditional love.”

10am With Mom 10.17.11
“Everything is fine.”

I could tell mom was smiling. I could only hear her voice over the phone, but I know she was smiling. We were talking about what she’s been up to the last few days. She said, “Oh, not much. Just watching mass on t.v. right now and you know your dad and I always have to watch our favorite program on TFC (The Filipino Channel). It always makes us laugh.” Since mom and dad are both retired now they have had to find ways to pass the time that they would normally spend working. U-Verse and The Filipino Channel were blessings from above. I asked mom to pass the phone to dad… “Hey Dad. How are you doing? What are you up to?” He said, “We’re ok. Mom is just resting her foot.” I asked him, “What happened to mom’s foot?” He told me that she hurt her ankle. I could hear my mom in the background, “It’s just a sprain. It’s fine.” I asked my dad to pass the phone back to mom… “Mom, you can tell me that you’re watching TFC but you forgot to mention that you hurt yourself?” She says, “I didn’t want you to worry.” She told me what happened, how she hurt her ankle and that they were going to go to the doctor to get it checked out. I asked her to call me as soon she got the results.

Mom finally called me back. “Everything is fine. Looks like I have a slight fracture in my ankle. I’ll be fine.” A fracture? A fracture? I thought it was a sprain? I might have been over reacting but ever since mom retired she’s had to face a number of unfortunate setbacks. This was just the latest. That retirement rainbow that everybody dreams of just hasn’t been as colorful for her. But through it all Mom has had the uncanny ability to keep smiling. She credits her faith and her prayer. I think, in fact I know that all moms really do have an “S” on their chest – whether or not they’ll admit it. What they do to make their children feel better is stronger than any band-aid or chicken soup. We believe what they say and we believe in them. They’re real life superheroes.

I think I’ll pay a visit to Mom soon. I think I need to see her smile. That way I know everything will be all right.

“MindSet” is my chance to share with you a perspective outside the lines. No scripts, no corporate marketing techniques, no bull. Just thoughts that I’d like to put out there about this world, this company, this life – straight up.